One of the hardest things Jesus ever told his followers was, “Love Your Enemies.” As a believer in Jesus Christ, I have been challenged by this command ever since I first read it. How do we truly love our enemies?
First, we have to decide who our enemies are. On a personal level, our enemies are those people who go out of their way to make life miserable for us. They deliberately try to do us harm, either mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or socially. They are pretty easy to identify, and I bet if I asked you who your enemies are, you could whip out a list pretty fast.
Next, we have to look at who our enemies are on a broader scale. They may be the leaders of a country who are threatening to annihilate us or those who are working against our national interests in the international arena. The people in those countries may not actually be our enemies but are people at the mercy of those in control of the government of their countries.
Then we have to look at who are not our enemies. Sometimes this takes rethinking the word “enemy.” Our teachers are not our enemy if they do not give us the grade we think we deserve in class. Our boss is not our enemy if he doesn’t give us the raise we think we are entitled to. Our parents are not our enemies if they don’t let us do everything we want to do. The judge is not our enemy if he gives us a fine for speeding. Anyone who holds us accountable for our actions or performance is not our enemy.
People of another political persuasion are not our enemies. They may not agree with our opinions and we may not agree with theirs, but that does not make them our enemy. They are mutual citizens of a country that needs differing political views in order to serve the common good. We need to resist the constant media barrage that seeks to pit those with one political view against another.
People of another religious persuasion are not our enemies. Believing something different than what we do does not constitute grounds to classify someone as an enemy. There may be people on the fringe of a religious group that truly seek to harm us, but the group as a whole is not our enemy.
Once we identify who and who are not our enemies, how do we treat them? How do we actually love them? Jesus continued on and said, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” That sounds like a pretty tall order to me, and it will take a major change in our present mindset in order to accomplish it.
Let’s break it down: “Bless those who curse you.” How do we do that? First, we do not curse them back, i.e., if they are swearing at us, we do not return fire with expletives. It takes practice, but when someone is going on a rant, we walk away. If we can, we say something positive to them or at least something that will help to diffuse the situation. We do not call them names, even under our breath. When these people are not on a rant, we may say something positive or uplifting to them.
He then said, “Do good to those who hate you.” This is not easy stuff to swallow, let alone digest. We have to choose to do good to someone who has not had our best interests at heart. This may entail treating with kindness the shrew in the break room who is always gossiping about us or our friends. It may mean helping out a person who has been unkind to us in their time of need. Nothing speaks louder than when we purposely act kindly towards those who have not treated us well and do not deserve our kindness.
Finally, he said, “Pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you.” This is actually the key that will open our hearts and help us extend kindness to those who have been unkind to us. If we spend time in prayer for those who have offended us, we will find our attitudes changing. When we ask for good things for them, the bad feelings we have inside begin to disappear. We begin to see them as the flawed people they are, and we quit giving them power over our lives. When we want what is good and best for them, we will behave in a different manner towards them. Perhaps then we can even do what Jesus said. One day, we may even be able to love them.
Recently, my cousin received a kidney transplant. His kidneys had not functioned well for years, but he finally came to the point where he needed dialysis. He sent a letter out letting people know he needed a kidney, and many people volunteered to be a donor. Unfortunately, everyone was rejected for one reason or another. Finally, he transferred to another transplant center, and they began the process of reassessing his potential donors. After a while, a new doctor thought he had found the right match. It was my cousin’s wife who had been the first donor on the list, but had been rejected because of her allergies. Within a month, they were both in the hospital awaiting surgery. Both surgeries went well, and they were both out of the hospital within a week.
When we think about love, we don’t usually associate the word with hate. But real love, true love, agape love, it hates…people, no, but the wrongs of this world, yes. Here are some things that love hates:
The book of James tells us that our lives are like “a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” When I read those words in my twenties and thirties, I understood them but they didn’t speak to me as strongly as they do thirty years later. Now, looking back on my life, it does seem like a vapor that has come and can be gone very quickly.
Jesus was talking to a lawyer about the two most important commandments. When they got to the second one: “Love your neighbor as yourself,” the lawyer, wanting to justify himself said, “Who is my neighbor?” He was probably hoping that Jesus would say, “The guy who lives next to you, you know, the one who is so similar to you that you can easily identify with him.”
I have a friend who is faced with a difficult life choice. She needs to make a decision, but has been fighting it. She is making it difficult for herself and for her family. I would love to see her make the decision and move on with her life. As I was praying for her the other evening, I said, “Lord, make it easy for her.”
Recently, I was asked to pray a prayer of blessing before the meal at a public gathering. I was cautioned, “Don’t use the name of Jesus.” So okay, I will certainly respect the wishes of whoever asked me, but later I thought, “When did the name of Jesus become a dirty word?”
When I met my husband, I thought I was “in love” with him, but was it really love? I looked forward to our weekend dates, felt very good around him, and thought about marrying him. I experienced emotional highs when he called, followed by lows when I didn’t hear from him. I really loved being with him, but was that the kind of “love” one should base a marriage on?
Valerie Cullers 