Faux Feelings

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Faux…the French word for false. We have been using it in the English vocabulary since the 1600’s. Since the 1980’s it has been used in the general vocabulary to denote something that is a false version of the original. It does sound so much better than “fake” when we are talking about marble, leather or fingernails. It verbally puts a shine on whatever we are referring to. Unless of course, you are talking about fur. Faux fur is in…we don’t want to see people walking around wearing the real thing (unless it’s raccoon, then we can laugh our heads off). So faux fur is a positive thing…nothing wrong with a fake in this category!

So the word faux can refer to something positive or negative depending on what it is modifying. Have you ever thought of faux in regard to your feelings? Or more to the point, have you ever thought about the word faux when you expressed an opinion on something you didn’t really care about? It has happened to me a few times, and this is how it happened.

I would be sitting with a group of ladies having lunch or dinner and a subject would come up in the conversation. Maybe I would not have any opinion one way or the other, but because I wasn’t expressing myself, I felt like I wasn’t contributing to the conversation. So I would say something, something false, something faux, that I wasn’t really feeling, just to be part of the conversation.

After I left the group, I would begin to feel uneasy about the way I spoke on that subject. I knew I didn’t really care about that issue and I expressed a false opinion. It happened to me a few times and I decided change the way I handled the situation. Now, if I am in a group and a subject comes up that I really don’t care about, I just sit and listen. If I am asked about an opinion, I can tell the truth, whatever that is. Even if it means saying, “Oh that, it doesn’t really bother me at all!” I know, it does brings the drama quotient down a few notches, but I feel much better about just being honest.

It’s not always easy, though. A lot of the things that may bother others may not necessarily bother me. When I sit there quietly, I don’t feel part of the group and I feel different, especially if the subject is discussed for any length of time by all the girls, and if the emotions get higher and higher the longer the conversation goes on.  I am getting used to being a bit uncomfortable for the sake of not expressing a faux opinion about something. I’ve decided it’s okay to be different and to think differently.

How about you? Do you struggle when you are in a group? Have you ever expressed a faux opinion just to be a part of the group and take part of the conversation? How did you learn to deal with it? 

 

 

14 thoughts on “Faux Feelings

  1. An honest admission Valerie. A quote comes to mind. It was on an old shed and seemed totally incongruous ‘ it’s better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt.’ Faux opinions never ring true.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I completely understand. If we are all honest with ourselves, I believe many of us are guilty of expressing a faux opinion for the sake of “feeling” like a part of the group. I too struggle with this. It gets quite uncomfortable when I have nothing to add and the conversation lasts for what seems like an eternity. I agree that silence is better than contributing a foolish or unfelt comment just for the sake of acceptance. Somehow it feels as though we not only we cheat ourselves but our friends when we are fake for the sake of fitting in. Great thought provoking post!

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  3. I think “faux” expression may be linked to early years when we want to “fit in” and not rock the boat of popular opinion. I would perhaps nod my head in agreement to something I was ambivalent about … hmm, that might me false. I was easily swayed and wanted to seem agreeable. Perhaps less “faux” in that way these days!
    Thanks for your thought provoking post. 🙂🌷🌷

    Liked by 1 person

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