The Gift of Kindness

Valerie Cullers 4 Comments

pexels-photo-264109.jpegA few weeks ago, I heard about a young man who had been bullied at school. Afterwards, he went home and committed suicide. Appalling…yes. Sad…yes. Shocking…no. Unfortunately, this story gets repeated over and over in various parts of our country. Has there been a significant lack of kindness given to the children who are bullies? I don’t know. While we cannot solve this insidious epidemic, we can, in some small way, give the gift of kindness to our children and hope they will learn to pass it on.

Every day, we are given several opportunities to give the gift of kindness to others. It may only be to those in our immediate family, but it will still make a significant impact in the world. Each time you give this gift to your children, you are building a reservoir of kindness in them. Hopefully, when they go out into the world and interact with others, they will share this gift with others.

Is this gift costly? Yes, but not in the material sense. This gift will cost you some of your most precious commodity, time. In order to give this gift, we each must slow down, if only for a few seconds, in order to give it away. We must also be intentional;  and know that every time we give this gift, we have added to another’s life.

Is this gift showy? No, it is the quietest of all gifts. It is one you can quietly give to your children in the privacy of your home. You can also model it when you are in public and teach them how to interact with others. You can smile at a grocery clerk and ask him or her how their day is going instead of just staring at them and hoping they check you out at the fastest possible speed. You can welcome a new family into your neighborhood and be kind to them, without regard to their race, color or ethnic background. You can help someone with a disability and make their life easier in some small way.

Is the gift rewarding? Absolutely! When we see our children give this gift to others, we know we have succeeded in by helping them learn the value of this precious gift.

Moral Courage In The Face Of Peer Pressure

Valerie Cullers 7 Comments

Recently in the news, I saw the story of a young man who had been drinking at a party and injured himself. Some at the party wanted to call for help while others didn’t want to get the authorities involved and insisted that no one make the call. The next morning the young man died.gummibarchen-fruit-gums-bear-sweetness-54633.jpeg

Peer pressure…we all face it in one form or another. When we say “peer pressure” we think of kids at school. However, adults face peer pressure in their work environment and in every social group they are involved in. Within every group we are part of, there is a level of peer pressure asking us to conform to whatever the strongest voices in the group are espousing. So how do we develop the moral courage to stand against peer pressure when we know someone in the group is asking us to do or think the wrong thing?

When I was pondering this question, one word stood out to me and that was the word “No.” We each must learn to say the word strongly and clearly when it is appropriate.  The first person we need to learn to say “No” to is ourselves. Every day we are faced with choices that we should say “No” to.  We need to practice saying “No” to ourselves and then follow through and do the right thing, whatever that is at the time.

The next group of people we have to learn to say “No” to is our children. As parents, we want to make our children happy, and it is difficult to say “No” to them. However, say “No” we must if want to raise healthy responsible children. But the pushback, boy can we face pushback from our children.  It can be very vocal or silent with doors slamming. It is very difficult to stand against the pushback, but we must learn to do it.

One of the hardest areas to learn to say “No” in is within the social groups we are in. We all want to be liked and thought well of in our various social circles and so we find it difficult to say “No” in these groups. When we are faced with wrong choices, we must practice standing up and saying “No” even when we will face pushback from the people we associate with. Just going along with the herd will not make us feel any better about ourselves if the group has chosen do something we know is wrong. If we want to face ourselves in the mirror and sleep well at night, we must learn to make these difficult choices.

Let’s remember Jesus Christ. He said “No” many times in the face of great opposition and did the right thing in spite of the pushback he faced. He is our example of moral courage.

Civility in the Public Discourse

Valerie Cullers 7 Comments

conversation-799448_1920I was so pleased when the recent election cycle ended. Like many of you, it seemed like I was in the middle of a pitched battle with arrows flying over my head and bullets aimed at targets on either side of me. When it was finally over, I felt like I had been grazed by bullets and pricked by arrows aimed at someone else. You see, I am a centrist and try to look at issues from both sides before making my choices. That puts me pretty much in the middle of the political debate.

This year’s political rhetoric was particularly toxic, and it was a relief when the election was over, or so I thought. Instead of diminishing, the political climate in Washington has continued to heat up and the temperature is practically at a boiling point. I’ve been thinking about how change can be affected in this area.

I would love to wait for our political leadership to tamp down their tone and lead us by example. Unfortunately, this may never happen. I am proposing that each of us add a level of civility when speaking about our elected officials. Let’s try not to malign their character when we don’t agree with their views on a particular subject. Let’s debate ideas but keep the name calling to a minimum.

Please join the conversation.