Connections

February 25, 2019October 31, 2025Valerie Cullers 20 Comments

There are a lot of things I don’t understand. There are also a lot of things that I know exist but I cannot see them and I don’t understand how they work. Take the connections between people for example; I know they exist but I don’t know exactly what they look like in the unseen realm.

When two people marry, they become connected. The Scripture says, “and the two shall become one flesh.” Mark 10:4 We know that marriage produces a physical union, but there is also a union of the spirit, soul and mind. Within a few years of being married to my husband, I could be sitting in a room thinking of something, and he would bring up that same thought or subject within a few minutes. Now, after several decades together, it happens all the time, and I know we have a real connection. This connection I understand because we are so close.

What about the connection we have with our children? They are our own flesh and blood, and there is a bond that is undefined, but it is almost as strong as the bond between husband and wife. It is not the same kind of connection, though. Even when my sons were living at home, I could be thinking about something, and rarely would they bring up the same subject. And even if they did bring up the subject, we didn’t necessarily agree on the topic.

What astounded me about the connection, though, was when I saw it in action. Years ago, our youngest son was stationed in Kuwait somewhere along the Iraqi border. He was in a time zone that was eleven hours ahead of us, and he rarely got to call home. There was a SAT phone in the compound, and every few weeks at a different time, he would call us. Day or night, we would speak to him for about twenty minutes. Without fail, within about fifteen minutes of that call, our oldest son would give us a call. He was living in another city, and of course, was concerned about his brother. We would tell him the news, but I was always surprised that his call would come so soon after his younger brother’s. Why was he prompted to call us? It must have been the unseen connection he had with his brother and with us.

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Photo by MabelAmber. Courtesy of Pixabay.

What about the connections we have with our close friends? How does that work? The Scripture gives us an example of that when talking about Jonathan and David. In 1 Samuel 18:1, it says that, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” I have had a few friends in my life with whom I have had that kind of connection. For whatever reason, we have connected, and as time passed, our souls became more and more knit together. Many times, I will be thinking about my friend, and she will call me or vice versa. What does that look like in the unseen realm? I don’t know. If I did, I would draw or paint a picture of it.

Connections…I don’t really understand them. But just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean I don’t believe they are real and that they exist. What about you? How would you explain the connections you have with others?

Reposting a few faves this week! Hope everyone is doing well!

Forgiveness Comes Before Freedom in the Dictionary

February 20, 2019October 31, 2025Valerie Cullers 35 Comments

Remember when you were in grade school and your teacher was teaching you how to use the dictionary? You worked on papers where you had to decide which word came first. You would receive your paper and there would be rows of words, two at a time, and you had to circle the word that came before the other word in the dictionary. Let’s say the two words were: forgiveness and freedom. Which word would you circle? Forgiveness, of course, it always comes before freedom in the dictionary.

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Just as it is in the dictionary, so it is in life. Forgiveness always comes before freedom. Over the course of our lives, we receive many offences from people, some large and others minute. We have two choices when we are in a position where someone has offended us: 1. We can either choose to hold on to the offence, or 2. We can forgive.

Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to give in our lives, especially if someone has hurt us deeply. Our tendency is to want to hold on to the hurt and nurse it. After all, we have been wronged. The problem with this attitude is that the unforgiveness that we carry does not necessarily harm the other person; it only harms us. We are a container, and when we hold on to an offence, it is like a toxic substance inside of us. The toxic substance does not do our bodies or our minds any good, only harm.

When it comes right down to it, forgiveness is a choice. We must choose to forgive those who have done us wrong. When we do that, we become free of the offence. Is the process instantaneous? We forgive and then we are free? Sometimes, but not usually. Forgiveness is a process. We choose to forgive, and then we begin to walk it out. The memory may come to mind again and again, but each time we must say, “I choose to forgive that person; I am not going to carry this around with me anymore.” Over and over, the process repeats, until at some point, the memory fades and that offence no longer has power over us.

You will say to me, “But you don’t understand what so and so has done to me.” You’re right, I don’t understand, but the process is the same. Jesus told us a great story about this principle. In Matthew 18, he tells us about a servant who owed a king a great deal of money; by today’s standards, it would be several million dollars. The servant could not pay the debt, and the king commanded that the man, his wife, children and all he had be sold to pay the debt. The servant then fell down and begged him to forgive the debt. The king relented and forgave the servant the entire debt.

The servant then went out from the king and found someone who owed him several thousand dollars. He took the man by the throat and demanded that the man pay him what he owed him. The debtor begged the man to have compassion on him, and he would pay him what was owed, but the servant would not show mercy. He had the man thrown into prison. Soon, it was reported to the king what the servant had done to his debtor. The king then called the servant and demanded to know why he had treated the other man so harshly, seeing that he had received mercy. He then threw the man into prison until all of his debt was paid. The story ends with this admonition from Jesus, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.

The point of this story is that we all stand before God owing a great debt; that debt being our sins and trespasses. If we want God’s forgiveness, we must be willing to forgive those who have sinned or trespassed against us. It is a spiritual law of the universe. If we want it, we have to be willing to give it.

You will say to me, “But, you still don’t understand what so and so did to me.” You’re right, I don’t, but God does.

In order to do this, we also must understand what forgiveness is not:

1. Forgiveness IS NOT saying that what the person did was not wrong. It was wrong and nothing will change it.

2. Forgiveness IS NOT saying that the person won’t have to make restitution for what they did to you. They still may owe a debt to society and may need to go through the judicial system.

Forgiveness IS you releasing them from the wrong they committed against you. They are still responsible before God and society for what they did. You no longer have to live in a prison of hate or despair over their actions. You can be free from them.

You see, in life, just as it is in the dictionary, forgiveness always comes before freedom.

Like our GPS, I am recalibrating this week and reblogging a few of my faves!

A Love For The Ages

February 19, 2019October 31, 2025Valerie Cullers 10 Comments

This being the week after Valentine’s Day, I have had a week to think about love. When most of us think about a love for the ages, we think about Romeo and Juliet or Helen of Troy and Paris. Both tales envision star-crossed lovers, whose love ends in their own deaths or the deaths of hundreds of others. These couples’ stories, famous in literature, may or may not have been founded on real people. We look at them and think, now there is a love for the ages. But is it? Their love burned brightly, was short-lived, and had tragic consequences.

There is another kind of love, though. After the heat of passion has cooled a bit, this love is based on commitment and understanding. Can we find that kind of love among people we know personally or people we see in the media today? Indeed, it is hard to find in this selfish, self-centered world.

When I think of that kind of love, a real love for the ages, I think of our friends, Peg and Dave. We first met them about thirty-five years ago when they moved from California to our small town in Oregon to start a business. We walked into their shop one day and ended up becoming lifelong friends. Peg worked with Dave at the shop, and I had the privilege of taking care of their son, Davey. Many Friday nights, we would get together, have dinner and laugh until our sides hurt.

The economy made a downturn, and they were unable to keep their shop. It was a great economic loss for them, but they continued to stay together as Dave looked for another job. They had to leave their friends and move to a bigger city, where Dave found a job with a well-known corporation. When we traveled there, we were able to visit them and see how they were doing. About twenty years ago, Dave told us he had a numb feeling in his legs and that when he ran, he couldn’t feel the lower half of his body. These symptoms forced him to go to a doctor, go through a multitude of tests, and find out his diagnosis was Multiple Sclerosis.

Dave continued to work at his desk job until he was past retirement age, and when he was ready, he quit. Dave’s symptoms became worse and worse until eventually Peg could not take care of him any longer. They then moved him into a care facility. That was several years ago. Occasionally, I would call Peg and ask her how Dave was doing. She always told me Dave was well, and that she would make the thirty-mile round trip to visit him daily. She said Dave never complained, that he was kind to his attendants, and always said “Thank you” when they helped him.

Dave passed last year after a short bout with pneumonia. Peg called me on Valentine’s Day to check in. She said that in a few days, they would have celebrated their 59th Wedding Anniversary. Even though Dave is gone, she is going to bake a small cake and celebrate their Anniversary. He may have moved to a different location, but he will always be front and center in her heart.

After I got off the phone with her, I reflected on their love. A love that was filled with courage, compassion and commitment. I am in awe of that kind of love, and I would call that truly “A Love For The Ages.”

Things I Learned From Watching Cartoons

February 13, 2019October 31, 2025Valerie Cullers 29 Comments

Daffy-1-[1] When I was a kid, I enjoyed watching cartoons. My parents would let us watch them for about an hour on Saturday mornings. Then we would have to get dressed and do our assigned chores. In high school, I would watch them every now and again just to enjoy the wit of those who wrote the scripts.

Some people think watching cartoons is a waste of time, but I have learned some important things from them:

1. If you are a Coyote trying to catch a Roadrunner, DO NOT open a box marked ACME. It won’t end well; you will be making a trip to the ER. You can bet on it.

2. If you and your girlfriend are Russian agents, stay away from a talking Moose and Squirrel. They will outsmart you every time, and you will get caught by the authorities.

3. When watching Daffy Duck, always keep a dictionary nearby. He will be using words you cannot understand.

I had to put that last one on the list because I learned the most from watching Daffy Duck. He was a rather excitable character and expressed his emotions well. He also had a great vocabulary and wasn’t afraid to use it. When I was little, I had to look up some of the words he used. Some of those words I still use today.

One of my favorites that he used was the word palaver. It can be used as a noun or a verb, but when used as a verb, it means “to talk unproductively and at length.” That word allowed me to categorize excess verbiage when I heard it. If I were trying to buy a car and the salesman went on and on, I would be listening to his palaver. If I were in a class and the subject was boring, same thing. If I were listening to an opinion show and the guest was going on and on at length without saying anything constructive, you guessed it, palaver. When I am trying to discern the truth about something, I try to ignore the palaver and listen for any facts in the discussion.

Palaver…we hear it all the time. It is so nice to put a word on it. And to think I learned the concept and the word from watching a cartoon!

(With apologies to Wile E. Coyote!)

Youth In Asia

February 7, 2019October 31, 2025Valerie Cullers 31 Comments

group of boys standing beside white wooden house

Photo by Tom Fisk on Pexels.com

Several decades ago, while in high school, I was elected State Vice-President of the International Relations League. The Board met four times a year, and one of our main responsibilities was to plan the agenda for the State Convention held each Spring. We chose several topics and were supposed to familiarize ourselves with one, as we each were expected to lead a discussion group on that particular subject. We talked about what would be on the agenda and what we should discuss. Two of the topics I remember were: The Palestinian Refugee Crisis and Youth in Asia.

I was more familiar with the Palestinian problem and chose that one to prepare for. A few months went by,late-term and the date arrived for the Convention. I packed my suitcase and left for a city about three hours from where I lived. I got to the University campus, checked into my room, and went to the first day’s meeting. I received my Syllabus and sat in the front row of the auditorium with the rest of the Board.

You can imagine my shock when I opened the Syllabus and looked at the Agenda. The topic “Youth in Asia” was nowhere to be found; the topic was actually Euthanasia. I thought I knew what was going to be discussed; I actually did not. I was as far off on that particular subject as I could be. At the time of the meeting, I had not heard the word many times, let alone understood the real meaning of the subject. It just goes to show you how wrong you can be about something you believe to be true.

Last week, I heard a prominent politician say that people in his political party were NOT for infanticide. And yet, partial-birth abortion and late-term abortion are actually affirmed as a woman’s right by most of the feminist leaders in his party. Sometimes, we only think we know what is going on in our particular sphere. Unfortunately, many times we do not. We are as far away from the truth as we can possibly be.

“Youth in Asia.” Anyone want to lead the discussion?

Mengelian

January 31, 2019October 30, 2025Valerie Cullers 33 Comments

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Josef Mengele, Nazi SS physician, was notorious for his work at the camp at Auschwitz. He was an ardent believer in Nazi Racial Theory and Eugenics. He was interested in twins, identical or fraternal, and did experiments on Jewish and Roma children in the camps. He was especially interested in eye color, and many children were maimed or killed for him to complete his experiments on them. Was he the only doctor at these death camps doing this kind of work? No, he was just the most infamous and was known as the “Angel of Death” at Auschwitz.

When we think of the Nazi SS and their death camps, we are outraged. We just had Holocaust Remembrance Day, and we mourn the six million Jews who were murdered at the camps. But they were not the only ones that were scheduled for extermination. Fourteen million people were murdered by the SS: Jews, Romas, the old, infirm, disabled, mentally ill, and those physically or mentally handicapped were also scheduled for death to help establish a pure race.

Outrage and sadness, that is what these kinds of policies evoke in most people. That happened in WWII. It is over; we will never have to face that kind of inhumanity again, or will we?

Last night on the news, I heard about a policy just signed into law in New York. Abortions will be legal up to the time of birth. Any child deemed unwanted, unnecessary, mentally or physically unfit can be killed at the moment of birth if that is what the mother wants.

Is this law an aberration? No, it is the latest in a series of laws that some states are trying to adopt. I heard the Virginia governor, a pediatric neurologist no less, advocating for the passage of this same law in his state. He explained rationally how the baby will be killed right before birth, and if the mother changes her mind when the baby is delivered, they will try to revive it.

These policies are Mengelian, plain and simple. Americans are divided on their stance on abortion, but seventy-one percent of us are against late-term abortion. If we don’t want these laws to stand, what can we do?

1. Use our Voice: Just like those in Nazi Germany who stood against the SS and their inhumane practices, we must use our voice to stand up against these laws.

2. Use our Hands: We can write to our State Senators and Representatives to not allow these kinds of laws to be passed in our states. If we live in a state where this law has been passed, we can ask our Representatives to rescind the law allowing these practices.

3. Use our Checkbooks: We can donate to organizations that will work to have these laws taken off the books. My husband and I will donate to The American Center for Law and Justice and encourage their work on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves.

We must know that even though we are just one person, if we stand together, we can change what is happening in our legislatures. I, for one, will stand up against this form of evil. Will you stand with me?

“Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.” Proverbs 31: 8-9

Betting on the Wrong Horse

January 27, 2019October 30, 2025Valerie Cullers 20 Comments

Have you ever gone to a horse race and bet on the wrong horse? If so, you went to the window and bought a ticket for your horse to win, place, or show. You may have paid a small amount for your ticket, or you may have bet a lot. Sometimes, you may even have bet everything you had. If your horse was not a winner, you may have lost a little or a lot. One thing you do know is that you “bet on the wrong horse.”

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Even if you don’t bet on horse racing, it is easy to “bet on the wrong horse” in life. Perhaps you broke up with someone really nice, thinking that the latest person you met was better, more exciting. Your new relationship begins to sour quickly when you see that the new person is selfish, self-centered, and toxic for you. You begin to realize that you “bet on the wrong horse.” This can happen in the job market, also. You have a pretty good job, but you think you need a different one, one that will pay more, so that you can get that fast car you have been wanting. Perhaps, you quit the old job and found that the new job is not what you thought it would be. Your new boss is a tyrant and expects you to work a lot of extra hours with no overtime, especially because you’re now on a monthly salary. Again, you realize you “bet on the wrong horse.”

What should we do when we have made a bad decision, one that is costing us more than it is worth? The first thing we need to do is admit to ourselves that we made a mistake. We usually know it, but we must say it to ourselves. Then we need to honestly evaluate our situation. What else do we need to do in order to turn around and get going in the right direction?

The next thing we must do is tell someone else. This step is a little harder to take because it involves our pride. We must be willing to admit our mistake to another person. The best kind of person to admit this to is one who can be trusted and is a lot wiser than we are. A parent, pastor, teacher or other counselor can usually help us get turned around and get moving in the right direction. Many times, we don’t want to admit our mistakes to others, but the truth is that those closest to us already know we have made a mistake. They are just waiting for us to see it for ourselves and seek their guidance.

What do we do if we have “bet on so many wrong horses” that our life is filled with losing tickets? We have completely messed up in so many areas that we don’t think there is any way to get turned around and get going in the right direction. That’s when we need to go to the One Person who can help us. Yes, I am talking about God. He is more than willing to take us where we are and bring restoration into our lives. The word “repentance” is sprinkled throughout the New Testament, and it is from the Greek “metonoai” which means to change one’s mind. When we change our minds about our decisions, we can then come to God and seek His mind on the matter. We can admit to Him that we have messed up and ask Him to help us.

Is it easy to go to God and tell Him we have made a disaster out of our lives? Not always, because again, it involves our pride. We must humble ourselves before Him and admit our mistakes. The good thing about it is that He, just like those closest to us, already knows that we have made mistakes. He is just waiting for us to see them, admit them, and ask for His help. His Word is full of examples of people just like us, who made mistakes and needed His help.

Betting on the wrong horse…easy to do. Admitting to ourselves we have made a mistake…not so easy. Admitting to others and to God we have messed up…a little harder. But getting turned around and getting a reset so that we can go in the right direction? Always more than worth it!

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

The Covington Students Broke the Commandments

January 24, 2019October 30, 2025Valerie Cullers 25 Comments

This week the Covington Students were excoriated in the media. They broke the commandments. We better know them and be careful or we will be next. What are they? image by aitoff, courtesy of Pixabay

1. Thou shalt not be white:

It doesn’t matter where your relatives came from, or whether they held slaves or not. Or perhaps your relatives fought and died to set the slaves free. The facts are not important. If you are white, you will be judged by the color of your skin and will be forced to carry the collective guilt of others of your race.

2. Thou shalt not be male:

Masculinity itself is a crime; it is now toxic in some circles. Never mind the fact that no one would exist without a male figure in their lives, or that the influence of a father can be very beneficial. Being born a male is now something to be discriminated against.

3. Thou shalt not believe in God:

Any belief in a personal God is tantamount to heresy. The secular humanists will portray you as stupid and brainless if you believe in a higher being.

4. Thou shalt not support the current president:

Anyone caught supporting the current president must be punished, period. No exceptions.

5. Thou shalt not go to a private school:

As flawed as the public school system is, you must be punished if you choose an alternative. You will be targeted and condemned as “privileged” if you go to one, especially if it is a religious institution. Never mind the fact that many who go to these places of learning have scholarships because they cannot afford them.

6. Thou shalt not be pro-life:

Anyone not supporting abortion is to be punished. You must support abortion on demand up to and including nine months.

7. Thou shalt not be from a state that has a high poverty level and lower educational scores:

If so, you will be judged as ignorant and bigoted.

8. Thou shalt not be a teenager:

If so, your behavior will be held to a higher standard than the behavior of the adults in whatever situation you are in.

Are these all of the commandments? I don’t know. We must all be careful because if we are ever placed in the limelight and we do not fit the current orthodoxy or line up with whatever the “group think” is at the time, we will be punished on social media.

Ask yourself, are you breaking any of these commandments?

Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid!

January 22, 2019October 30, 2025Valerie Cullers 20 Comments

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Most of us recognize that saying as a reference to Jonestown and what happened to the people who lived there. For those of you who are not familiar with this incident, there was a man named Jim Jones who was head of the People’s Temple. He was a charismatic leader and several thousand people followed him. His services were known for faith healing and mind reading. Although the People’s Temple was involved in outreach activities in their communities, Jim Jones did not treat his own followers so well. They were humiliated and beaten and were told that if they left the People’s Temple, they would be put in government-run concentration camps. When the press began to look into his activities, he moved several hundred people to Guyana, and they lived on an agricultural commune there. Eventually, the relatives of some of the people who lived there were concerned about their welfare, and they contacted their representatives in Congress to look into what was happening in Guyana. A group of people went there, including a Congressional representative, and some of them were shot and killed. Fearing government retaliation, Jim Jones instructed his followers to drink a fruit juice laced with cyanide, and about 900 people drank it. When the authorities came in response to the murder of the Congressional delegation, they found almost all of the followers of the People’s Temple dead.

The lesson for all of us is not to blindly follow those who lead us. No matter who the person is that we are following, we must always evaluate what they are telling us. If what they are saying sounds a little off, we must take a step back and take a good, hard look at what they are teaching us. Do they have an agenda, and are they trying to shape our thinking according to that agenda? Are they living what they are teaching, or are they exempt from what they are espousing? Are they fomenting racial hatred and fear? Are they treating those who don’t agree with them fairly, or are they demonizing them?

I look around and I see many people doing just those things. They have an agenda and are trying to influence the people who follow them. They don’t really care about the facts or the truth; they want to demonize those who do not agree with them and stifle honest conversation. Their agenda, their party line, etc., is what’s important, not the truth.

It doesn’t matter if it is a politician, news anchor, pastor, teacher, or other spiritual guru; we must not follow what they say without running it through a truth grid. If we don’t take a step back and honestly evaluate what they are telling us, we will buy into their agenda and make choices that will eventually be harmful to us. We must seek out the truth and be willing to listen to those of a different persuasion in order to evaluate whatever situation is going on.

We don’t want to be drinking their Kool-Aid. It may not be laced with cyanide, but hatred, false information and bigotry are just as deadly if it gets into our minds and hearts. Let’s do the hard work and seek to find out the truth in whatever situation they are telling us about, then we won’t be like sheep blindly following our leaders.

Torn Between Two Countries

January 10, 2019October 30, 2025Valerie Cullers 46 Comments

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I was born the child of parents from two different countries. My father met my mother while he was overseas in the service. She was Italian and her family lived in Milan. They were married and returned to the States to live. From the time I was little, I would hear stories about Italy and have letters read to me from my Italian family. I would look at the pictures they sent and long to meet them.

Growing up, I never quite felt at home in the States. There seemed to be a part of me that was longing for another country, another family, another culture. When I got older, my father decided I should go to Italy and get to know my Italian family.

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I began learning the language, made arrangements to go to school over there, and flew to Milan. I met my family and spent several months with them. It was an experience I will never forget. They showered me with love and took me around to different cities and taught me about the history and culture of the country. Even though I loved my new family, the people, and that country, there was a part of me that still didn’t quite fit in there completely.

Eventually, I moved back to the States and married. I still kept in touch with my family in Italy, and my heart was always torn between the two countries. I had people I loved in two different places, and for better or worse, I was now part of two different cultures. Since that time, I have never completely fit in the country I am living in because there are always people I love and want to be near living elsewhere.

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During this time, I became a Christian, so I began learning about another culture. I read the Bible and began to experience an entirely different kind of life. I heard about a place where there was no violence, murder, or crime of any kind. I learned of a place where peace reigned because God reigned there. Again, my heart became divided. There were people I loved here on Earth, but I longed to be with my Heavenly Father in Heaven. There was a better place to live, and more and more my heart longed to be there.

So again, I am torn between two countries, two cultures, two peoples, two places. There are people I love here on Earth, but I hate the crime, division, and the lack of love people have for one another. I long for that place where people will treat each other kindly and where love will reign supreme.

I know that I am not alone. Most people sense that there is something not right here on the earth. We look around and know instinctively that there is not supposed to be hunger, thirst, disease, war, poverty, greed, and all the other kinds of evil there are here. We were made for something different, and we all have a deep longing for a better place, a better life.

What about you? Are you torn between two countries also? Do you long for a better life and a better place? It’s available to you; all you have to do is ask for it.

“Then he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, remember me when you come into Your kingdom.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” Luke 42 – 43.