Just Snap Out of It!

Valerie Cullers 53 Comments
man person people emotions

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Have you ever been in a situation with someone who was going through something temporary and you wanted to say to them, “Just Snap Out of It!”? I have and even if I haven’t said it, I have thought it. 

Three weeks ago, my husband hurt his knee at the gym. He was kind of moping around the house because he couldn’t go for a bike ride or do any physical activity. I knew he would get better in a few days and was very supportive on the outside, but inside I wanted to say, “Just Snap Out of It!” I thought I knew what he was going through; I just wanted him to skip feeling bad and move to being okay with it. You know what I mean, “Just pretend you are not going through the process.” 

Fast forward a couple of weeks; I woke up with vertigo. It was the day of a monthly luncheon I go to and I was really bummed I couldn’t go. Having had it before, I was also feeling bad because I knew I would have a few days or weeks of limited activity. My husband was very solicitous and took good care of me. He felt bad for me and was very understanding. He is a better person than I am and so I’m sure he wasn’t thinking, “Just Snap Out of It!”

You see, we never know what someone else is going through. As my husband pointed out when I read him the first few paragraphs of this post, “We don’t know the mental battle they may be fighting,” and that’s true. My husband just wasn’t bummed because of his knee pain, he was also thinking about the possibility of a knee replacement in his future. Because he is the strong silent type, he doesn’t communicate everything he is thinking and feeling.

When I was younger, I would have probably said to someone, “Just Snap Out of It!” when they were feeling bummed about a temporary situation.  Now that I am older, I have at least learned to keep my mouth shut when I am thinking something like that. I am learning I need to put myself in their shoes and have empathy for whatever they are going through. Sometimes the mental battle they are fighting is a lot greater than the physical discomfort they are feeling.

What about you? Are you one of those strong-willed motivated types that can pull yourselves up by the bootstraps and carry on in most situations? Do you have little or no patience with those who struggle with things that you think you could soldier on through? Let’s face it, whatever we think we are, we are not. We are all made from the dust of the earth and it wouldn’t take much for each one of us to be in the same position we find someone else in. The best thing we can do in most situations is extend grace and lovingkindness to others, since we don’t truly know everything they are going through. 

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8

53 thoughts on “Just Snap Out of It!”

  6. Excellent food for thought! I am guilty. I went through decades of pain and surgeries but stayed positive, never depressed and kept moving forward. I have a hard time when people let petty things bother them because after all I went through I didn’t. I know I shouldn’t judge, God made us all different.

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    • God did make us all different. My husband has dealt with pain for years, even from when I was first married to him. He endures it quietly and with dignity. I, on the other hand, think I am dying if I get a large scratch on the hand! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  8. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week is Valerie Cullers of ValerieCullers.com. Like me, Valerie is a faith-driven writer who reaches out to a broad spectrum of believers, nonbelievers, and everyone in between. She is transparent, curious, and insightful–I never fail to gain something of value from her posts!

    Valerie is also the author of the Bible study “Psalm One for Women on the Run” and “The Unwelcome Stranger,” a historical novella set in the early fourth century, as well as an in-the-works sequel.

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  9. After being away at a silent retreat this weekend, I was reminded that things like compassion are actually gifts of grace. These gifts are something to be received for oneself and expressed to others when we find ourselves going through periods of pain and discomfort.

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  11. “Snap Out Of It” and its many siblings are what I want to say when I’m impatient with someone, yep. It reveals that I’ve got a problem expecting high performance and perfection out of people – something even God doesn’t expect until the next life. Great post and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance (thanks to Senor Teemley above).

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  13. Thank you for your thoughtful post, Valerie. I think your experience describes perfectly that each person experiences his or her own reality in their own way, and that lest we want to be judged for our own particular ways of dealing with challenges, we shouldn’t judge others for theirs.

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  15. I’ve always carried through with things, no matter what, and I used to get pretty impatient with those who didn’t. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there is a lot I don’t know about a person’s situation, and have learned to have more compassion. Thanks for reminding me that I can always do better at this.

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  16. Such a timely post! I have relatives with pain issues, brought on by lifestyle choices, and heredity. My tendency is to think snap out of it even if I don’t say it. We are all getting older, and will relish understanding from other people when our aches and pains increase.. Thanks for reminding me that we reap what we sow, and encouraging me to be more understanding and patient today.

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  18. At first I was thinking I’m always sympathetic when others are going through hard times, but then I remembered a few instances where I was thinking ‘just snap out of it’. Actually quite a few, ugh. This is a good reminder to remember that we don’t really know how others are experiencing things and what’s easy for us to get through can be a challenge to others and vice versa.

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  20. Ah, yes. I have been on both sides of this.

    I’ve sworn to myself that I would *always* be kind and understanding, *always* believe people when they say they are suffering. And then I’ve turned around and felt (or said), “Snap out of it!”

    Sometimes we are just selfish and we want the other person’s problem to be over so that we don’t have to experience it by proxy.

    Sometimes we do our darndest to accommodate them, but the problem seems to extend forever, with no end in sight, and we wonder if we are enabling.

    It may help to note, the great Amy Carmichael experienced this too. She had always thought of fainting (!) as “weak-minded nonsense,” until after living in Japan for a year, she started having inexplicable fainting episodes.

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