Torn Between Two Countries

Valerie Cullers 46 Comments
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I was born the child of parents from two different countries. My father met my mother while he was overseas in the service. She was Italian and her family lived in Milan. They were married and returned to the States to live. From the time I was little, I would hear stories about Italy and have letters read to me from my Italian family. I would look at the pictures they sent and long to meet them. 

Growing up, I never quite felt at home in the States. There seemed to be a part of me that was longing for another country, another family, another culture. When I got older my father decided I should go to Italy and get to know my Italian family.

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I began learning the language, made arrangements to go to school over there and flew to Milan. I met my family and spent several months with them. It was an experience I will never forget. They showered me with love and took me around to different cities and taught me about the history and culture of the country. Even though I loved my new family, the people and that country, there was a part of me that still didn’t quite fit in there completely. 

Eventually, I moved back to the States and married. I still kept in touch with my family in Italy and my heart was always torn between the two countries. I had people I loved in two different places and for better or worse I was now part of two different cultures. Since that time, I have never completely fit in the country I am living in because there are always people I love and want to be near living elsewhere.

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During this time I became a Christian so I began learning about another culture. I read the Bible and began to experience an entirely different kind of  life. I heard about a place where there was no violence, murder, or crime of any kind. I learned of a place where peace reigned because God reigned there. Again, my heart became divided. There were people I loved here on Earth, but I longed to be with my Heavenly Father in Heaven. There was a better place to live and more and more my heart longed to be there.

So again, I am torn between two countries, two cultures, two peoples, two places. There are people I love here on Earth but I hate the crime, division and the lack of love people have for one another. I long for that place where people will treat each other kindly and where love will reign supreme. 

I know that I am not alone. Most people sense that there is something not right here on the earth. We look around and know instinctively that there is not supposed to be hunger, thirst, disease, war, poverty, greed and all the other kinds of evil there is here. We were made for something different and we all have a deep longing for a better place, a better life. 

What about you? Are you torn between two countries also? Do you long for a better life and a better place? It’s available to you, all you have to do is ask for it.

“Then he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, remember me when you come into Your kingdom.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” Luke 42 – 43.

46 thoughts on “Torn Between Two Countries”

  6. I always wished I could speak another language. I took a few years of Spanish in school, but I never used it, so I lost most of it. My husband took 10 years of German, and he can carry on somewhat of a conversation in German still this day, and he can read it, too. I just think that is wonderful to be able to speak more than one language and to get to know other cultures, too. I have never even been to Canada. I never left the USA. So, it is hard for me to really know what goes on in other countries, for this is all I have ever known. So, that is wonderful that you had that experience and that you still have those relationships.

    I really enjoyed how you paralleled your experience over to the situation of believers in Jesus being torn between living on this earth and wanting to go to their heavenly home to be with Jesus forever. The older I get, the more I long for my heavenly home. I will be 70 at the end of this year, so if the Lord should decide to call me home, I am ready to go whenever it is his timing for me. But, I am ready to remain here as long as he wants me here, too. But, I will look forward to the day when I get to be with him forever and I am able to depart from this world.

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    • Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that you read the post and it touched you. Yes, we look forward to that day. You do speak a second language though. Once we are The King’s children, we speak the language of Love. Our study book is the Bible, where we read about the King and how He wants us to operate while we are here. It is a different culture, language and the people we meet who are part of the Kingdom are different than those in the world! Blessings! Valerie

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  7. Beautiful post! Yes, I feel like a fish out of water on this earth as it is, and as it is so quickly degenerating. I long for my perfect heavenly home, and like you, am torn, as I have loved ones here, some who have yet to make a decision for Jesus and the forgiveness He offers.

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  8. You are not alone dear Valerie! I echo your sentiments (physically and spiritually).

    Physically, I am torn between two countries; I was born in Germany with all my extended family (grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins living there). My parents moved to Canada when I was five and I grew up in Toronto. When I visit Germany, I feel at home.

    Spiritually, I completely agree with you! I love my husband, three children and grandchildren and my dear friends, but I long for the place the Lord has prepared for us in Heaven where there is no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain. Here on earth, we cry and suffer, but I wait for that glorious day when we shall see Him face to face and God shall wipe away all tears from our eyes. (Revelation 21:4)

    Well written post with a profound message! God is so good and has made it possible for anyone who calls upon the Name of the Lord to be saved, just like the thief on the cross in his last moments on earth (which you quoted from Luke). That’s how much Jesus loves us!

    In the meantime, we pray and trust God.

    ❤️carmen

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    • Yes, I totally agree and appreciate that you, too can relate to the sentiments in the post. It’s always about the love, we give it, we get it, and we long for it! There is a heavenly kingdom where all is well and all is right. We WILL see Him someday and our hearts will rejoice! Sending love your way!

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  13. Italy! How beautiful. I love the sound of your visit and family.
    Im estranged from my maternal family, some of them. Then i have my in-laws where im considered the out-law. I long for a big blended loving family. An empath, i feel too much and ‘am too much’, hence my escape to The Good Book. Like you. I long for a better world and calmer times. 🤗💐🌸🌺

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  14. I am of Indian origin but born in a different country where I live but like you, not really torn but do not feel at home at all. My country is India where my ancestors belong and it’s home to me. That happens a lot with settlers, I guess and this post speaks directly to me. Glad to find you on this online space, Valerie.

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  17. Dear Val, Again I say, how well you write. It is impossible to start reading you and not finish the last word.
    I do feel out of place in this world at many times, but my personal mission is to be a beacon of hope, and positivity to those around me. My patients, colleagues and friends. And little by little, the building blocks are created and the love and respect returns in abundance. When the media finds that the most interesting news is negative stories, I simply turn off. Sometimes months at a time.
    Have a great weekend beautiful! ❤

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    • How you gave me a giggle….turn off the news for months at a time. You know that is really a great idea. I don’t know if it will work at my house or not, but it’s worth a try! 🙂 So glad you liked the piece and you could relate to it. Innately, we all long for something better, I’m sure! Take care friend! ❤

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  18. Great post Valerie and although I’m not religious, I can understand the analogy.

    With how our world is going, I often say it would be great to find a tiny self-sufficient island somewhere remote and remove myself from society!

    Next time you’re in Italy, we should try and meet up (if I’m still here).

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