Forgiveness Comes Before Freedom in the Dictionary

Valerie Cullers 37 Comments

Remember when you were in grade school and your teacher was teaching you how to use the dictionary? You worked on papers where you had to decide which word came first. You would receive your paper and there would be rows of words, two at a time, and you had to circle the word that came before the other word in the dictionary.  Let’s say the two words were: forgiveness and freedom. Which word would you circle? Forgiveness, of course, it always comes before freedom in the dictionary.

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Just as it is in the dictionary, so it is in life. Forgiveness always comes before freedom. Over the course of our lives, we receive many offences from people, some large and others minute. We have two choices when we are in a position where someone has offended us: 1. We can either choose to hold on to the offence or 2. We can forgive.

Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to give in our lives, especially if someone has hurt us deeply. Our tendency is to want to hold on to the hurt and nurse it. After all, we have been wronged. The problem with this attitude is that the unforgiveness that we carry does not necessarily harm the other person; it only harms us. We are a container and when we hold on to an offence, it is like a toxic substance inside of us. The toxic substance does not do our bodies or our minds any good, only harm. 

When it comes right down to it, forgiveness is a choice. We must choose to forgive those that have done us wrong. When we do that we become free of the offence. Is the process instantaneous; we forgive and then we are free? Sometimes, but not usually. Forgiveness is a process. We choose to forgive, and then we begin to walk it out. The memory may come to mind again and again, but each time we say,”I choose to forgive that person; I am not going to carry this around with me any more.”  Over and over, the process repeats, until at some point, the memory fades and that offence no longer has power over us.

You will say to me, “But you don’t understand what so and so has done to me.” You’re right, I don’t understand, but the process is the same. Jesus told us a great story about this principle. In Matthew 18, he tells us about a servant that owed a king a great deal of money; by today’s standards it would be several million dollars. The servant could not pay the debt and the king commanded that the man, his wife and children and all he had be sold to pay the debt. The servant then fell down and begged him to forgive the debt. The king relented and forgave the servant the entire debt.

The servant then went out from the king and found someone who owed him several thousand dollars.  He took the man by the throat and demanded the man pay him what he owed him. The debtor begged the man to have compassion on him and he would pay him what was owed but the servant would not show mercy. He had the man thrown into prison. Soon it was reported to the king what the servant had done to his debtor. The king then called the servant and demanded to know why he had treated the other man so harshly seeing that he had received mercy. He then threw the man into prison until all of his debt was paid. The story ends with this admonition from Jesus, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.

The point of this story is that we all stand before God owing a great debt; that debt being our sins and trespasses. If we want God’s forgiveness, we must be willing to forgive those who have sinned or trespassed against us. It is a spiritual law of the universe. If we want it, we have to be willing to give it.

You will say to me, “But, you still don’t understand what so and so did to me.” You’re right, I don’t, but God does. 

In order to do this, we also must understand what forgiveness is not:

1. Forgiveness IS NOT saying that what the person did was not wrong. It was wrong and nothing will change it.

2. Forgiveness IS NOT saying that the person won’t have to make restitution for what they did to you. They still  may owe a debt to society and may need to go through the judicial system. 

Forgiveness IS you releasing them from the wrong they committed against you. They are still responsible before God and society for what they did. You no longer have to live in a prison of hate or despair over their actions. You can be free from them.

You see, in life, just as it is in the dictionary, forgiveness always comes before freedom.   

 

 

37 thoughts on “Forgiveness Comes Before Freedom in the Dictionary”

  8. I saw this when Tracy shared it. I like this post because it is well-written and true; We must forgive to receive freedom. Thank-you for posting this much needed message because this is something that should be revisited often to ensure peace.

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  10. Amen! Love this! Forgiveness is the key to everything because it is the signature of humility. Not doormat humility, but Knowing God’s providence and justice over our lives. 💗

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  11. You are correct; forgiveness is about what kind of person one is.

    I had a major professor who blackballed me so that I could not complete my doctoral program. I have never denied what he did, but I have denied him power over me. Last December, when I saw the news story about his arrest for abusing his son in sight of a security camera at a school, and of the professor’s suspension from teaching and administrative duties, I did not gloat. Did I forgive the professor or merely let him go and get on with life?

    Either way, he has no power over me.

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  13. Great devotion/piece. You explained the concept of forgiveness well for the person who needs to forgive, and how that relates to the person who’s wronged them. I liked how you explained that it’s not only for the accused, but the person’s wronged well-being. Also, that people are still accountable (all of us) for our wrongs to God and possibly society in the worst cases.

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  14. Thank you for writing this post❤️. Grudges are heavy and exhausting. In the biblical story you share…..one of the themes that speakers to me is the concept of “paying it forward”…..use our strength for good to carry on the kindness and compassion.

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  16. The weak can never forgive.Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong -Mahatma Gandhi..Beautiful words.
    Infact here in India a holy event & a festival of forgiveness called Paryushana is being celebrated every year. As a matter of fact it’s underway right now ( from 7th September to 14 th September )
    So Let’s share our thoughts on & celebrate Forgiveness :
    https://insideoutwithrahulyuvi.com/2018/09/09/celebrating-forgiveness/

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