There are a lot of things I don’t understand. There are also a lot of things that I know exist but I cannot see them and I don’t understand how they work. Take the connections between people for example; I know they exist but I don’t know exactly what they look like in the unseen realm. 

When two people marry, they become connected. The Scripture says, “and the two shall become one flesh.” Mark 10:4 We know that marriage produces a physical union but there is also a union of the spirit, soul and mind. Within a few years of being married to my husband, I could be sitting in a room thinking of something and he would bring up that same thought or subject within a few minutes. Now, after several decades together, it happens all the time and I know we have a real connection. This connection I understand because we are so close.

What about the connection we have with our children? They are our own flesh and blood and there is a bond there that is undefined but it is almost as strong as the bond between husband and wife. It is not the same kind of connection, though. Even when my sons were living at home, I could be thinking about something, and rarely would they bring up the same subject. And even if they did bring up the subject, we didn’t necessarily agree on the topic.

What astounded me about the connection, though, was when I saw it in action. Years ago, our youngest son was stationed in Kuwait somewhere along the Iraqi border. He was in a time zone that was eleven hours ahead of us and he rarely got to call home. There was a SAT phone in the compound and every few weeks at a different time, he would call us. Day or night we would speak to him for about twenty minutes. Without fail, within about fifteen minutes of that call, our oldest son would give us a call. He was living in another city, and of course, was concerned about his brother. We would tell him the news, but I was always surprised that his call would come so soon after his younger brother’s.  Why was he prompted to call us? It must have been the unseen connection he had with his brother and with us.

Photo by MabelAmber. Courtesy of Pixabay.

What about the connections we have with our close friends? How does that work? The Scripture gives us an example of that when talking about Jonathan and David. In 1 Samuel 18:1, it says that, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”  I have had a few friends in my life whom I have had that kind connection with. For whatever reason, we have connected and as time passed, our souls became more and more knit together. Many times, I will be thinking about my friend, and she will call me or visa versa. What does that look like in the unseen realm? I don’t know. If I did, I would draw or paint a picture of it.

Connections…I don’t really understand them. But just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean I don’t believe they are real and that they exist. What about you, how would you explain the connections you have with others?

All Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used with permission.

We all know a myriad of people and whether we know it or not, we categorize them in our minds. Which people are safe to be around? Which ones make us feel good? Which ones are toxic for us? And finally, which ones do we need to be around for our own good? All legitimate questions and all ones we need to figure out. Sometimes a good visual, taken from entomology, helps us sort out the categories. 

Lepidoptera is the order of insects that includes butterflies. I’ve never actually met a person that did not like butterflies. They are beautiful, varied and couldn’t hurt you if they tried. It’s great to have people like that in our circles. They add beauty to our lives, speak with gracious words, help us up when we are down and encourage us to go forward on paths that we wouldn’t otherwise move forward on. These people are safe and we love to be around them. 

Like butterflies, these people are not always around us. When we run into them or they call us, they are a delight and their presence is a gift to us. They speak healing and life to us and their “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb – sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24. We can not have too many people in this category in our lives.

Then there are the people in the Hymenoptera category. Hymenoptera is the order of insects that includes wasps in it. Just the name wasp brings up negative feelings within ourselves. We try to avoid wasps and spray their nests with insecticide to keep them away from our yards and our houses. The above is not a pretty picture. Wasps can sting you and not die and live to sting you again should you get near them. We want to stay away from them because they can do us real harm. Their venom is toxic to say the least.

We all know people like that within our circles of friends, family and acquaintances. We see them coming our way and we turn and go the other way. When we are invited out to dinner with them, we politely decline. We would not dare tell them anything of importance or relevance about ourselves because they would distort it and use it against us. Wasps are very good at gossip and the tales they have told about us are probably still circulating to this very day. We know we want to avoid wasps like the plague. When dealing with wasps our hope is to know that “Discretion will preserve you, understanding will keep you to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things.” Proverbs 2: 11-12.

Are all the insects in the order of Hymenoptera negative? No, not at all. Take the honey bee, for instance. It will sting if threatened, but only to its own demise. The honey bee will die if it stings you and because of this, it is usually not aggressive. The honey bee does many wonderful things including pollinating flowers and fruit trees and producing that wonderful substance we call honey.     

Just as I value honey bees, I value people who are like them. These people will tell you the truth and though it stings for a moment, the correction they bring will bring life and healing to your soul. They produce good things inside of you because they are willing to put themselves at risk in order to keep you from going in the wrong direction. I value the correction this kind of person brings to my life because “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs 27:6. Ultimately this kind of friend brings a sweetness to my life that I find invaluable. Honey bees are at a premium today and so are good true friends who will tell you the truth with the intention of helping you become the person God created you to be.

I know I’ve placed the people in my circles in their proper categories. How about you? How do your friends, family and acquaintances stack up…Lepidoptera or Hymenoptera?

Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used with Permission.

When I married my husband, I thought I was “in love” with him, but was it really love? I looked forward to our weekend dates, felt very good around him, and thought about marrying him a lot. I experienced emotional highs when he called followed by lows when I didn’t hear from him. I really loved being with him, but was that the kind of “love” one should base a marriage on?

I wanted to give that love the Love Test, but could I do it with the English word love? Love is used in a variety of ways with multiple connotations in English: we  love chocolate, clothes, homes, cars and people. Would I need to use words from a different language to get a better understanding of the word? Yes, possibly Greek. So, here goes.

Did I have Eros love for my husband? Eros is the physical kind of love and attraction one feels for another. You experience lots of emotional highs and lows with Eros love. Check one: Yes

What about Phileo love” Phileo is the kind of love one has for a friend. We get the word Philadelphia from it,  the City of Brotherly Love. Did I love him like I love some of my oldest and dearest friends? Would I have told him anything and trust him with everything at that point? Check two: No

What about the kind of love one has for their family, Storge love? Did I feel for him like I felt for my father, mother, sister or brother? Would I have done anything to help him or put my life on hold to love and care for him then? Check three: No

The highest kind of love is called Agape love. It is a self-sacrificing kind of love. It loves without expecting or demanding anything in return. Did I truly have that kind of love for him? Check four: No

So here we are forty years later, married and still together by the grace of God. At this time I do have Phileo love for my husband; he truly is my best friend. I also experience Storge love for him; he is as much a part of my family as any of my close relatives. At times, with the grace of God, I can even love him with Agape love. I can sacrifice for him and love him unconditionally for who he is.

But I have to be honest with myself. When I married him, I was only infatuated with him and experiencing Eros love. That deep friendship and familial love that it takes to make a marriage last was developed over many difficult years. There were good times, bad times, tears, fights and a lot of hanging in there through the rough spots that helped forge the bond we have today. And more and more, I am able to love him with Agape love. I just love him because of who he is; not because I expect anything from him.

Was it love at the time? Yes, but not the kind of love you need for a lasting marriage. It took years and years and the grace of God to grow the kind of love that lasts a lifetime.

So take the Love Test and be honest with yourself. How much do you truly love the one you’re with?

I am still on hiatus this week, sharing another one of my faves!!