Love

Discount

Valerie Cullers 7 Comments

“Discount – (verb) to decide that something or someone is not worth considering or giving attention to.” Cambridge Dictionary

If we were fortunate as children, we lived in a family where we were taught to not discount people because of their race, religion, ethnicity, or financial situation. We learned that people are not less valuable because of any of their inborn characteristics or outward circumstances.

For the past several years, people have also been discounting others because of their political beliefs. Our children in the university system have been taught to discount those who do not conform to the current norms at their institutions. On campus, they live in an echo chamber where only the accepted opinions are given any real credence or value.

This past Thanksgiving, a psychiatric intern at one university shared online that people might want to skip getting together with their families if their relatives voted for candidates they didn’t agree with. The “Northeastern Global News” stated that about one quarter of people were considering skipping the family get-together this year.

I come from a family where one of my brothers is on the far right and the other is on the far left. Would I ever consider not having dinner with them because of their political views? Absolutely not. Family is too important, and life is too short. Political candidates and opinions change like the ocean tides. To be so locked into our views that we must live in an ideological bubble where those with different views are discounted seems absurd.

Believe it or not, we can always learn from those who have different opinions than our own. We can learn why they believe what they do. We can learn to be tolerant of those who see life differently. We can learn to care about people who think differently than we do because they add to our understanding of the world around us. We can also learn to have a little humility because believe it or not, we are not always right in our opinions and we do not always see the whole picture.

Let’s learn to love those who have different political views this holiday season. Let’s not discount them as the world would have us do.

Image by Okan Caliskan. Courtesy of Pixabay

A Matter of the Heart

Valerie Cullers 8 Comments

Like most Americans, I was shocked and grieved at the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. The politicians (at long last) seem serious about helping solve the problem of gun violence in our schools. They are considering stricter gun and red flag laws, longer wait times for purchasing a gun, and deeper background checks. All of these sound good, but they are strictly defensive solutions to the problem.

You see, the real problem in all of these shootings is a heart problem. The shooter’s heart is filled with hate and self-loathing and he is going to take as many people with him in his desire to end his own life. Every other component in these situations is external to the shooter except for his own heart problem and mental instability. I would bet that every shooter suffers from some form of mental illness but with many of these shooters the problem lies deeper within them. It is about their heart.

Scripture states that “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 If all a person thinks about is their hatred of others, then that person becomes, by definition, a hate-filled person. Sooner or later, that hatred will surface. It will surface in ways that may seem non-violent, i.e., hateful words, or it may surface in ways that will hurt others physically. Every weekend, we watch as this hatred takes the lives of innocent people in our cities. We need to call it what it is: evil in its purest form.

Murder is evil, and mass murder is evil unleashed on an unsuspecting public. Why are so many of our young men committing these crimes? It’s simple, their hearts are filled with hatred, a form of evil. As society works on stopping these crimes, we must work together to change the environment this hatred grows in.

Each of us has a level of influence in our society. Are we contributing to a hate-filled atmosphere? Do we view others who do look like us or do not agree with us politically as our enemy and do we hate them in our hearts? Do we listen to news shows that just stoke the hatred? If so, we need to stop. We can begin with ourselves and be determined to not contribute to the problem. We must truly learn to love our neighbors as ourselves if we want to change the atmosphere in this country. And it must not matter if our neighbor is not racially, ethnically or politically in line with us, we must learn to love others. If we do learn to love them that love will spread and the atmosphere in our cities will change.

Love, Laughter and a Pile of Socks

Valerie Cullers 21 Comments

Several years ago, I was in a class where I met Frances. She was on the quiet side but had a wonderful sense of humor. I really appreciated her, and we became good friends. One day, she was telling us about Larry. He just would NOT pick up his socks. She had been married to him for years and asked him several times if he would, but to no avail. On one particular day, she told us she had an idea. She was going to let his socks pile up and continue to put new socks in his drawer and see how big the pile would get until Larry picked them up.

Each week, we would check with her on Larry’s (or the pile’s) progress. Each week,it just kept getting bigger and bigger until, after a month, Frances gave up, washed the pile, and put them in his drawer. We asked, “What did you say to Larry?” Her reply, “Nothing.” Another question from the group, “What did Larry say?” Her reply, “Nothing,” and then she just laughed.

Frances and Larry had a great relationship and shared a lot of laughter between them. Even an outsider knew that Larry had indeed noticed the pile, but was going along with it, and seeing how long she would continue to buy him new socks. Frances never spoke about it again to Larry, and each morning she would pick up his socks from the day before and put them in the dirty clothes basket.

For me, this was a great example of what makes a marriage great. There is a lot of give and take and acceptance in a good marriage. No one is perfect and each spouse must accept the shortcomings of the other. If a person can do it with grace and humor, so much the better.

When I see my own husband’s socks on the floor, I just smile and think of Frances. What a woman she was!

Hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

Image by Bernswaelz. Courtesy of Pixabay.

Love Your Enemies

Valerie Cullers 15 Comments

sunset-hands-love-woman.jpgOne of the hardest things Jesus ever told his followers was, “Love Your Enemies.” As a believer in Jesus Christ, I have been challenged by this command ever since I first read it. How do we truly love our enemies?

First, we have to decide who our enemies are. On a personal level, our enemies are those people who go out of their way to make life miserable for us. They deliberately try to do us harm, either mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or socially. They are pretty easy to identify, and I bet if I asked you who your enemies are, you could whip out a list pretty fast.

Next, we have to look at who our enemies are on a broader scale. They may be the leaders of a country who are threatening to annihilate us or those who are working against our national interests in the international arena. The people in those countries may not actually be our enemies, but are people at the mercy of those in control of the government of their countries.

Then we have to look at who are not our enemies. Sometimes this takes rethinking the word “enemy.” Our teachers are not our enemy if they do not give us the grade we think we deserve in class. Our boss is not our enemy if he doesn’t give us the raise we think we are entitled to. Our parents are not our enemies if they don’t let us do everything we want to do. The judge is not our enemy if he gives us a fine for speeding. Anyone who holds us accountable for our actions or performance is not our enemy.

People of another political persuasion are not our enemies. They may not agree with our opinions, and we may not agree with theirs, but that does not make them our enemy. They are mutual citizens of a country that needs differing political views in order to serve the common good. We need to resist the constant media barrage that seeks to pit those with one political view against another.

People of another religious persuasion are not our enemies. Believing something different from what we do does not constitute grounds to classify someone as an enemy. There may be people on the fringe of a religious group that truly seek to harm us, but the group as a whole is not our enemy.

Once we identify who is and who are not our enemies, how do we treat them? How do we actually love them? Jesus continued on and said, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” That sounds like a pretty tall order to me, and it will take a major change in our present mindset in order to accomplish it.

Let’s break it down: “Bless those who curse you.” How do we do that? First, we do not curse them back, i.e., if they are swearing at us, we do not return fire with expletives. It takes practice, but when someone is going on a rant, we walk away. If we can, we say something positive to them or at least something that will help to diffuse the situation. We do not call them names, even under our breath. When these people are not on a rant, we may say something positive or uplifting to them, i.e., blessing them.

He then said: “Do good to those who hate you.” This is not easy stuff to swallow, let alone digest. We have to choose to do good to someone who has not had our best interests at heart. This may entail treating with kindness the shrew in the break room who is always gossiping about us or our friends. It may mean helping out a person who has been unkind to us in their time of need. Nothing speaks louder than when we purposely act kindly towards those who have not treated us well and do not deserve our kindness.

Finally, he said, “Pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you.” This is actually the key that will open our hearts and help us extend kindness to those who have been unkind to us. If we spend time in prayer for those who have offended us, we will find our attitudes changing. When we ask for good things for them, the bad feelings we have inside begin to disappear. We begin to see them as the flawed people they are, and we quit giving them power over our lives. When we want what is good and best for them, we will behave in a different manner towards them. Perhaps then we can even do what Jesus said. One day, we may even be able to love them.

Hi, I’m on hiatus, but wanted to repost one of my faves in this hot political climate! Love you guys  (and gals)  alot!

Love Your Enemies

Valerie Cullers Leave a comment

sunset-hands-love-woman.jpgOne of the hardest things Jesus ever told his followers was, “Love Your Enemies.” As a believer in Jesus Christ, I have been challenged by this command ever since I first read it. How do we truly love our enemies?

First, we have to decide who our enemies are. On a personal level, our enemies are those people who go out of their way to make life miserable for us. They deliberately try to do us harm, either mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or socially. They are pretty easy to identify, and I bet if I asked you who your enemies are, you could whip out a list pretty fast.

Next, we have to look at who our enemies are on a broader scale. They may be the leaders of a country who are threatening to annihilate us or those who are working against our national interests in the international arena. The people in those countries may not actually be our enemies but are people at the mercy of those in control of the government of their countries.

Then we have to look at who are not our enemies. Sometimes this takes rethinking the word “enemy.” Our teachers are not our enemy if they do not give us the grade we think we deserve in class. Our boss is not our enemy if he doesn’t give us the raise we think we are entitled to. Our parents are not our enemies if they don’t let us do everything we want to do. The judge is not our enemy if he gives us a fine for speeding. Anyone who holds us accountable for our actions or performance is not our enemy.

People of another political persuasion are not our enemies. They may not agree with our opinions and we may not agree with theirs, but that does not make them our enemy. They are mutual citizens of a country that needs differing political views in order to serve the common good. We need to resist the constant media barrage that seeks to pit those with one political view against another.

People of another religious persuasion are not our enemies. Believing something different than what we do does not constitute grounds to classify someone as an enemy. There may be people on the fringe of a religious group that truly seek to harm us, but the group as a whole is not our enemy.

Once we identify who and who are not our enemies, how do we treat them? How do we actually love them? Jesus continued on and said, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” That sounds like a pretty tall order to me, and it will take a major change in our present mindset in order to accomplish it.

Let’s break it down: “Bless those who curse you.” How do we do that? First, we do not curse them back, i.e., if they are swearing at us, we do not return fire with expletives. It takes practice, but when someone is going on a rant, we walk away. If we can, we say something positive to them or at least something that will help to diffuse the situation. We do not call them names, even under our breath. When these people are not on a rant, we may say something positive or uplifting to them.

He then said, “Do good to those who hate you.” This is not easy stuff to swallow, let alone digest. We have to choose to do good to someone who has not had our best interests at heart. This may entail treating with kindness the shrew in the break room who is always gossiping about us or our friends. It may mean helping out a person who has been unkind to us in their time of need. Nothing speaks louder than when we purposely act kindly towards those who have not treated us well and do not deserve our kindness.

Finally, he said, “Pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you.” This is actually the key that will open our hearts and help us extend kindness to those who have been unkind to us. If we spend time in prayer for those who have offended us, we will find our attitudes changing. When we ask for good things for them, the bad feelings we have inside begin to disappear. We begin to see them as the flawed people they are, and we quit giving them power over our lives. When we want what is good and best for them, we will behave in a different manner towards them. Perhaps then we can even do what Jesus said. One day, we may even be able to love them.

Love Hates

Valerie Cullers 2 Comments

man-couple-people-woman.jpgWhen we think about love, we don’t usually associate the word with hate. But real love, true love, agape love, it hates…people, no, but the wrongs of this world, yes. Here are some things that love hates:

Love Hates Injustice…and seeks to right wrongs.

Love Hates Racism…and seeks to bring equality.

Love Hates Hunger…and seeks to alleviate it.

Love Hates Disease…and seeks to heal it.

Love Hates Lies…and seeks to bring truth.

Love Hates Human Trafficking…and seeks to stop it.

Love Hates Pornography…and seeks to bring value to human sexuality.

Love Hates Death…and seeks to promote life.

Love Hates Violence…and seeks to bring reconciliation.

Love Hates War…and seeks to promote peace.

And all the people working in those areas to make a better world, whether they know it or not, are working on behalf of love’s purpose.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.” Matthew 5:6 (NKJV)