Kindness

This One Thing

Valerie Cullers 19 Comments

Now that January is almost gone, and all of my so-called resolutions have either been implemented or discarded, I thought about one resolution that I could implement each day that actually might make a difference in my neighborhood. This year, I decided that the one thing I would like to implement was to love my neighbor as myself.

You know, it sounds simple, but it really isn’t. My neighbor has her own catering business, and her garbage is near to overflowing every time she puts it out for the garbage trucks to pick up. Many times, after they dump her garbage, there is some lying on the ground. Sometimes, it blows into our yard. My first response is usually irritation as I look out the window and see it blowing by. I have decided to move from that response to a kinder response. I am thankful she has a good job. I am thankful that once in a while, she brings my husband and me lunch, etc., etc.

This may sound simplistic to you, but it has changed my outlook. Every time one of our neighbors makes a lot of noise or their dogs bark, after my initial irritation, I am choosing to think kindly of them. My neighbors don’t even know that my attitude has changed, but I know. It has made a difference inside of me.

Don’t get me wrong – I like my neighbors. I just want to have a kinder, gentler attitude towards them this year. I know I will be a nicer person inside, and perhaps some of that kindness may even move from an inside attitude to an outward action. You never know, after I pick up some of my neighbor’s trash that has blown into my yard, I may even pick up some of hers. Stranger things have happened!

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Really?

Valerie Cullers 18 Comments

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Sunday was a lovely day and I decided to go for a walk in the park near my home. Most people are cordial as you pass by and greet you with a friendly “Good Afternoon.” It is a pleasure to interact with others, even from a safe distance these days, as our interactions seem so much more precious than they used to. Even a friendly “hello” from a neighbor across the street brightens my day. 

As I was finishing my walk, a lady walked by in her mid-twenties. She looked very angry and would not even look at me. She was Asian and I think Chinese. I didn’t think much about it except that she must have been having a very bad day. I thought about her a few more times that afternoon and then forgot about her. The next day, I read in the New York Times that many Chinese Americans are being harassed by others. They are being called names, spat on and even physically attacked. I was shocked at this behavior and began to wonder if perhaps someone had said something to the woman I had seen the day before.

For a bit of personal perspective, I grew up in a region close to the California border. About twenty-three miles south of where I lived was a Japanese Internment Camp near Tulelake, California.  About 120,000 Japanese Americans were placed in one of those camps during World War II. As a child, I toured the camp and tried to imagine how daily life must have been for those interred there. When I grew up, I hoped we had learned our lesson about displaying hatred and prejudice to those of a different nationality or race during difficult times. 

Apparently, not so.  Again, we are seeing fear and hatred rear their ugly heads. People feel out of control, having to deal with the vagaries of the coronavirus, and they are lashing out at innocent people of Chinese descent. Do we honestly think that our neighbor, those we work with, or those who run the Chinese restaurants in our cities, had anything to do with the Coronavirus? Really?

If we have the opportunity, let’s make an effort to reach out with kindness to those Chinese Americans living among us. Let’s let them know they are safe around us and try to treat them the same way we would like to be treated if we were in their position. If there was ever a time to apply the Golden Rule, it is certainly in this situation. After all,  “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” should not be just another positive maxim; it should be the standard we use as we continue to weather this difficult crisis together.

The Gift of Kindness

Valerie Cullers 4 Comments

pexels-photo-264109.jpegA few weeks ago, I heard about a young man who had been bullied at school. Afterwards, he went home and committed suicide. Appalling…yes. Sad…yes. Shocking…no. Unfortunately, this story gets repeated over and over in various parts of our country. Has there been a significant lack of kindness given to the children who are bullies? I don’t know. While we cannot solve this insidious epidemic, we can, in some small way, give the gift of kindness to our children and hope they will learn to pass it on.

Every day, we are given several opportunities to give the gift of kindness to others. It may only be to those in our immediate family, but it will still make a significant impact in the world. Each time you give this gift to your children, you are building a reservoir of kindness in them. Hopefully, when they go out into the world and interact with others, they will share this gift with others.

Is this gift costly? Yes, but not in the material sense. This gift will cost you some of your most precious commodity, time. In order to give this gift, we each must slow down, if only for a few seconds, in order to give it away. We must also be intentional;  and know that every time we give this gift, we have added to another’s life.

Is this gift showy? No, it is the quietest of all gifts. It is one you can quietly give to your children in the privacy of your home. You can also model it when you are in public and teach them how to interact with others. You can smile at a grocery clerk and ask him or her how their day is going instead of just staring at them and hoping they check you out at the fastest possible speed. You can welcome a new family into your neighborhood and be kind to them, without regard to their race, color or ethnic background. You can help someone with a disability and make their life easier in some small way.

Is the gift rewarding? Absolutely! When we see our children give this gift to others, we know we have succeeded in by helping them learn the value of this precious gift.