Exit Wounds

Valerie Cullers 24 Comments

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When we think of exit wounds, we usually think of wounds created by projectiles, such as bullets. They go straight through the body creating an entrance wound, an internal wound and an exit wound. That’s how we view them in a physiological sense.

Have you ever suffered an exit wound in an emotional  sense? What is an emotional exit wound? It is the wound you suffer when you leave a person or group of people. Just as a projectile creates a wound to our bodies, an emotional projectile creates a wound to our souls. What might that look like?

You are hanging out with a group of people who are gossips in the break room and you decide you don’t want to anymore. You leave the group and hang out with others at break. Those you left will probably gossip and spread stories about you. Their words and actions create exit wounds. 

Have you ever had to leave a relationship with someone who was toxic for you? If you have, you have probably suffered many exit wounds. That person may have said and done many things to hurt you because of your choices.

Have you ever been in job or a class in school and for one reason or another you were promoted to a higher level? If you have, you know you have suffered exit wounds. You were probably made fun of and people said you thought you were better than they were. 

The verbal projectiles thrown at us hurt and cause emotional pain. Many times the stories told about us are not true but it is difficult to defend ourselves from them. These projectiles can come at us from many different directions but they are usually caused by one thing: Jealousy.

The people, groups or relationships we exited from are jealous of us. Our choices or the choices made for us have caused them to feel rejected and they choose to spew their projectiles of jealousy at us. Now, do you know what I am talking about? Can you think of a time when you have experienced exit wounds?

If so, you know that you didn’t choose to leave those relationships lightly. It takes courage to leave something that is negative, harmful or toxic for us because we know there will be an emotional cost or toll that we will have to pay. We know that we will experience exit wounds when we finally make those decisions and take action. In most cases, when the wounds heal, we will be glad we made the choice to exit that group of people or that relationship.

Exit wounds: they hurt, there is no doubt about it. Let us take courage and continue to make right choices for ourselves even if we will experience emotional pain and suffering caused by others. Just like our bodies, our souls will heal in time and we will be the better for it!

24 thoughts on “Exit Wounds”

  1. I’m a people collector… or maybe I’m more like a people hoarder… and I struggle when people leave my circle unexpectedly. Those tend to be the most painful exit wounds that I experience in life.

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  2. I recently removed myself from a toxic relationship with a family member. Although I knew the relationship was harmful, I continued pursuing it for years believing that I might do something or I might say something that might help this person. (Notice the number of “might”s in that sentence.) Last month the LORD released me saying, “I’ve got this. I want you to remove yourself from the abuse. Take care of yourself.”

    I felt the exit wound, but it was less painful than I feared, and much less painful than the relationship had become.

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    • Your story is so interesting and so true! Many of us have had to remove ourselves from the toxicity and have felt the same thing! thank you for sharing! So glad you found freedom and I know healing will come!

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  4. Attachment is the problem. Christ in a way taught us, not even to be attached to family members, if they come between Him and us. (Matth.19:29; Luk 18:29; Matth.10:34f)

    For all the wounds I would suffer in a day…only the Psalms help me through.. There is a nice reading of the Six Psalms on Youtube. It is a morning prayer. Without Christ we can do nothing. (John 15:5)

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  8. My friend Heather keeps telling me it builds character. Jokingly I say that I am a mountain now.
    Slowly, we learn, taking it a day at a time. The scars are there but we must soldier on for ourselves and as examples to our children.

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  10. I have been on both sides of the equation, Valerie-I have received, but I have also caused exit wounds. For the latter I am ashamed, but at times the consequences of our actions only become clear a while later. Even if we realize that some relationships are toxic and are better left behind, it would be best for all involved if we managed to part peacefully.

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