Any one who has had sons knows that some of the best lessons in life can be learned from them. The first lesson I learned from my sons was Joy. When they were toddlers they could find Joy in the smallest things, such as playing with the boxes at Christmas more than the toys that were in them. They didn’t need anything sophisticated to provide their Joy, they found it in their surroundings. They taught me to look for Joy in the ordinary circumstances of life.
The next lesson I learned from my sons was an appreciation of Beauty. They found Beauty in things I would have considered common place. When they would bring me a bouquet of dandelions, I would smile and thank them for the “pretty flowers.” They didn’t see weeds, they just saw the Beauty of nature. I learned to see Beauty where I hadn’t seen it before.
When they went to Pre-school and Kindergarten, I learned Tolerance. They did not see color, race or economic status in their fellow students. They just liked who they liked and wanted to play with whomever they met. They had not learned to discriminate against people relating to anything society would later want to put on them. I knew I needed to be more like them and just view people as people…period.
When they were in Elementary School, I learned Generosity. Both of my sons began to see the economic disparity in their classmates lives and were concerned for their them. One son went out for track. He had three pairs of tennis shoes and for the first few days gave the shoes he was wearing away to someone needing a better pair. By the third day he had to make a hard decision. If he gave away his last pair, he would not be able to go out for the sport himself. We all learned that unfortunately, there are limits to where our Generosity can take us.
In Junior High, they taught me to let them have their Independence. Each had to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences for those decisions. Our youngest son went along with all of the other boys in the class and refused to write in a journal like his English teacher assigned. He took a “D” rather than cooperate, and was grounded until he brought his grade up. Our oldest was suspended for a few days when he turned on a kid who had been harassing him throughout the year. He was ready to deck the kid and the principal told him that if he would just leave the kid alone, he could stay in school and the other kid would be suspended. He said, “No, if you leave me in school today, I will hit him.” He did not hit the kid and took his suspension days having stood up to him. Each had to make his decisions Independently of his father and me.
In High School, they taught me Consideration and Respect. During a heated discussion with my oldest, he said, “Mom, you always think you are right!” That struck a chord with me as I could be a force to contend with in a verbal argument. I needed to learn to Consider my son’s opinions and not always think that I knew what was best for him. The same lesson came to me also via the younger son. He was a bright child and I wanted him to go to college right after high school. He knew he wasn’t ready and had no desire to go to college then. When I finally quit fighting with him about it; he went about his own way, joined the Army and later worked in the construction industry. Eventually, he did go to college, but it was on his terms pursuing a career he was interested in. I needed to learn to show Consideration for their opinions and Respect my sons’ decisions and let go of my preconceived ideas about what was best for their lives.
My sons have taught me a lot and still continue to teach me in their adult years. They are both intelligent and have deep moral values. They are better able to discern the gray areas in life and because of them, I have learned not to be such a black and white person. I appreciate my sons and all of the lessons they have taught me, and I know I am a better person because of it.
Wanted to reblog this today!
Love this so much! Thanks for sharing and helping me to reflect. Blessings
LikeLiked by 4 people
My pleasure!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A marvellous and revealing essay about your family, growth and enlightenment. I really enjoyed reading!
LikeLiked by 4 people
Blessings to you, friend! Hope you are well! ❤
LikeLike
I got a lot of dandelions. Those were joyful days. Like you, I’ve learned alot in the passage of motherhood. I’m still learning. I love that they are stronger for me in some ways with family ties. I think we’ve done well my friend. May we live long to continue to be blessed. 🌺🌸
LikeLiked by 2 people
Amen to that, dear one! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
By Paulo Coelho – “A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”
LikeLiked by 4 people
Well put!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love this. Been reflecting on these gifts too as I have had two graduations this week, college and high school. Bittersweet. Great post as always Val!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, so bittersweet. I love my boys but when they became men, it was hard to let them go. I knew they were fully prepared and I was confident they would do well but my main job was over. Will send prayers up this week for you and yours! ❤
LikeLike
Hmmm! Such powerful lessons from your sons. Thank you for reminding us that we can learn from our children, if only we stop and pay attention.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they can teach us a lot!! Thanks for the comment!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes! Anytime 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
THEY TAUGHT A LOT—WITHOUT REALIZING IT! THAT’S THE BEST WAY TO TEACH—WITHOUT REALIZING IT!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for the reblog! Hope you and your wife are doing well! Blessings to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are blessed, however we find ourselves.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a sweet look into your life with your boys! You are a lucky lady!
LikeLiked by 3 people
I know they have grown up to be fine men. I am so proud of them!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s amazing what we learn from our children! And I can see you are a wise mother!
Blessings!
❤️carmen
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Vijayagiri views.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for the reblog!!!!
LikeLike
[…] via Lessons Learned From My Sons […]
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for sharing the link!
LikeLike
Valerie, what a great message for parents. Thank you for sharing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re welcome! Thank you for reading and commenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a father of four, this post warmed my heart! You are truly blessed, as I am, too!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, my sons are a blessing to me. They have grown into fine men and I had to share this post! Thanks for reading and commenting!
LikeLike
This is beautiful. Thank you
LikeLiked by 2 people
No, thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The lessons that we learn from our children are unbelievable. We teach them so many things about life, but they teach us as well. I enjoyed this post!
LikeLiked by 2 people
So glad you did! We ARE fortunate to have children! Thank you for your input!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Learning is every day thing for those who want learn
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you are so right!
LikeLike
There is no age of learning.. We can learn form our elders as well as from persons younger to us.. Great and informative post!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and comment!
LikeLike